1-800 Kiss My A**

If you've ever walked around a Delta terminal (Hartsfield, Laguardia, Cincinatti, etc.), you'll notice Delta has completely abandoned the notion of hiring human beings (a great economic stimulator). Instead, Delta has installed telephones, which connect you directly to their 1-800 service (1-800-221-1212 -- I know have it programmed into my phone as "F-me Delta"). Also, they have embraced technology by having ticket scanners, which are supposed to let you know that you're flight has been re-booked.

So my flight was recently cancelled due to mechanical failure. Unfortunately, there were several other flights cancelled that day due to weather, which meant nearly 3,000 passengers were being affected simultaneously in one airport. The customer service counter (an oxymoron in itself) had 4 agents to accommodate these passengers, but they were encouraging people to call F-me Delta for faster service.

What a joke. The 1-800 service could not do anything for me that day, and they are anything but apologetic. Delta has completely abandoned the notion of customer service and empowering their agents to make it right. In fact, while I stood in a 3-hour line to have my tickets reprinted and my luggage re-routed (F-me Delta cannot do this over the phone), I witnessed the 4 service agents calling F-me Delta to authorize re-booking.

An absolute waste. Delta has worse customer service than the bathroom attendant at Guantanamo.

How 5 seconds turned into 13 hours

We were cleared for takeoff from Atlanta at 9 a.m. It was sprinkling a bit (which normally causes Delta to cancel flights), but we were fortunate enough to be able to depart before the weather deteriorated. Halfway down the runway, the engines shut down and the plane slowed. The pilot came on the PA and announced there was a problem with the left thruster. In his professional judgment, we were better off to go back to the gate and have the mechanic evaluate the problem.

Now I am not arguing with the pilot's professional judgment. Ultimately, it is split-second decisions such as these that allow the airline industry to enjoy outstanding safety records. However, the remaining day was filled with Delta mishaps. Five seconds further down the runway we would have been on our way.

We headed back to the gate with little said from the pilot or flight attendant. After 15 minutes at the gate, we were told by the flight attendant in a short, unapologetic voice, that we were to deplane and head to the service attendant at gate 19. We were not told that we were being rebooked on other flights. We were not given an indication of the process that we would go through, and we did not receive any apology or further instructions from the flight attendant.

Ultimately, we wound up at our destination 13 hours later because we spent an extra $1500 to purchase 5 one-way tickets on AirTran. The rest of my day will be described in future posts.

Delta really sucks.

A $7 kick in the balls

Airport food is expensive. It's just one of those things that you deal with anytime you fly. But this site is not intended to rag on airport food and their outrageous prices. The intent of this site is to exploit the misdoings of Delta. So what do they have in common?

I was recently stranded in the Ft. Myers airport (RSW). It's a nice, smaller airport. Clean but with relatively few services and retail outlets. Since someone left the radio on in the cockpit overnight, we arrived for our 8:00 a.m. flight only to discover the battery in the plane had died, and they needed a new battery to be shipped from Atlanta later that morning (in another of Delta's woes, the battery did not make the first flight from Atlanta, so we waited another 2 hours b/c the $13 stock boy could not get the Die Hard on the plane in time).

So while we're waiting our excruciating 5+ hours, Delta is kind enough to offer us a $7 food voucher. Wow! How generous. Unfortunately, I had arrived at the airport in plenty of time for my originally scheduled departure to buy some cinasticks from Cinnabon. Two orders of cinasticks and a glass of milk was $14 (a meal I would normally consider a "light snack."). So you can imagine how excited I was to receive the $7 voucher from the Delta gate agent. Great. I can buy one more midget pack of cinasticks OR a can of Coke.

Screw you, Delta. I don't need your $7 insult. I'd rather just munch on a sugar packet or two.

Share your story

So I went back to work today and had to share my outrageous Delta travel stories with everyone in the office. I was amazed that everyone I spoke with had a similar story to share about their mis-adventures with Delta. The story that beat everyone was that just last week, one of my co-workers' flights was delayed due to mechanical issues. Unfortunately, her mother, who is a diabetic, was unable to access her insulin, and Delta forced her to remain on the plane while it sat motionless on the tarmac. She actually had a minor heart attack, and the paramedics had to care for her on the plane.

I don't think my co-workers are the only individuals that have some story about a vacation or travel plan gone wrong due to Delta. Please share. Remember, my goal is to gain enough public sentiment that Delta would go out of business.

Why am I doing this?

I'm a regular guy. I love to travel but do not travel for my job. I probably fly 6 times per year; about half for work-related conferences and the other half for family vacations.

On two recent vacations, I experienced the worst flying experiences with Delta Airlines. This blog is dedicated as a forum for sharing horrendous experiences with Delta.

My mission is to garner enough public support that Delta would go out of business. Seriously, I'm passionate about this. I hate Delta.